Being a Good Ancestor Starts Now

The questions you need to ask to become a steward of your heritage, and capture the stories that must be protected.

One day, someone will wonder about you.

What you stood for. What you carried forward. What you protected from vanishing.

You may not feel like an ancestor yet — but that doesn’t mean you aren’t becoming one.

Being a Rootkeeper isn’t about living in the past. It’s about what you choose to remember, reclaim, and pass on today, so the next generation doesn’t have to start from scratch.

It often begins at home. With one question. One memory. One story that refuses to be forgotten.

Sometimes you ask your grandparent. Sometimes your parent, an aunt, a neighbour, a friend. And sometimes, the conversation begins with yourself. Because whether you realise it or not, you are part of a lineage still being written.

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So if you’re ready to be a Rootkeeper, start here:

Below, I have prepared a list of questions for you to ask whoever you have identified as the source of ancestral stories you want to capture. They aren’t meant to be easy. They’re meant to stir memory, deepen connection, and preserve truth.

Here are some tips to help you stay present, grounded, and open as you begin:

1. Record the moment
Use a voice recorder, phone, or camera to capture the conversation, with permission. This will allow you to listen fully, without scrambling for notes. This also preserves what the page can’t: the rhythm of their voice, the pause before truth, the laughter between memories.

2. Begin with heart, not agenda
Start by sharing why you’re doing this. That you’re trying to honour your roots. That you want to carry forward the stories that made you. People open up when they feel seen, not studied.

3. Let curiosity lead
If the story wanders, let it. The richest moments often live in the unexpected. Watch what lights up their face. Listen for what’s said softly. Let wonder guide the way.

4. Ask, then listen like it matters
Ask the question, then give space. Don’t rush to fill the silence. Some memories take time to surface. Nod. Hold eye contact. You’re not collecting data, you’re witnessing someone’s truth.

5. Notice what’s not said
Watch for what they avoid or gloss over. Pain and pride often sit next to each other. You can gently return to those places later, when trust deepens.

6. Make the process enjoyable
You don’t have to gather everything at once. Let this be an ongoing ritual, not a one-time energy-draining download.

7. Closing the container
Once you’ve captured the story and the conversation is coming to a natural close, take a moment to share genuine acknowledgement with them. Thank them for their openness and willingness to share and remind them of the importance and impact that their story will have on those who hear it in the future.

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Let Us Begin

Go to a quiet room. With a pen that doesn't fade. A notebook that feels worthy of the world’s grandest library. A warm drink beside you. No rush. No noise. No notifications. And most importantly, a willingness to listen deeply.

These questions are doorways. Open them gently.
Receive the answers like offerings.

On Beginnings & Belonging

• Where were you born, and what do you remember about your earliest home?

• What rituals or traditions shaped your childhood?

• What language(s) lived in your home — and how did they shape your world?

• Why was your name chosen for you, and what did it mean to those who gave it?

• When did you first feel like you belonged — and when did you feel the opposite?

On Family & Lineage

• What were your parents and grandparents like — not just what they did, but who they were? Their personalities, the things they cared about most?